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Coming Out Day 2019
Content Warning: Self-Harm, Queerphobia, Mental Health Today is National Coming Out Day, which is pretty great, but my first time coming out was one of the worst nights of my life. This was around 2017, maybe 2016. My dad was going on about how Trump would never harm the LGBTQAI+ community when, you know, its a fucking guarantee and repeated promise. He was saying how I’m not queer, its not affecting my life. I called him out on this and told him I’m asexual with a panromantic attraction so I care greatly about my community. He went nuts. He demeaned and shamed me for who I was and blamed himself for “failing me”. I stayed away from him until he went to bed. My mom later came home after working a late shift at her job. I had told her all about what happened and hoping for a different result. Fucking nope. Did all the same shit dad did, and said I only think I’m queer because I spend so much time online. I wanted to take a knife and carve “I’m a lousy “f****t” on my arm. Self-harm
Journal #36
Hello everyone,
I've been having some trouble with anger management recently. Its been suggested to me by my girlfriend, Becky, to try to make more ways of expressing my frustrations and anger on to something else other than holding it all in and causing me stress and pain. Its been building up in me for a long time, I have more and more anger coming into me from stupid family shit, when electronic stuff doesn't work when I want it to, more and more it feels like I just want to scream and hurt myself. I'm setting up another appoinment with my therapist next month, even though she kinda pissed me off when we discussed it. It felt like we were
Journal #35
Hello again, everyone.
First off, some artwork updates. So far only one item on my list has been crossed out (my Character Design Challenge entry) which is unfortunate, so I gotta try to do two this month (possibly three, I wish to partake in CDC once a month from now on). Specifically, the gift for Becky and the public domain character redesign. ~Amanacer-Fiend0 (https://www.deviantart.com/amanacer-fiend0) has graciously allowed me to use one of their public domain characters. I've picked the character, but I'm keeping it a surprise ;)
Progess has been slow on the second item. We've been having many...fluctuations in our relationship, it's all I'm wanting to say in this
Journal #34
Hello everyone, how are you?
I've been doing alright. I've been going to these autism support group meetings on tuesday nights and I couldn't love it more if I tried. Everyone's so cool there and we have lots of fun playing games, joking around or talking about stuff like pop culture. They also have lunches Wednesday afternoons that I went to this week, we had sweet and sour chicken with rice. Next week they're having pizza so I'm totally going to that! And on monday I have an appointment with the Inclusive Employment people so I can find another job or some volunteer work to do. I'm hoping it goes well.
Here's what's on my to-do l
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