Journal #25

Got to see Zootopia tonight, I honestly loved every minute of it.

The character of Judy made me think of my life. Like her, I'm in a small town that I want to leave for a big city so I can make something of my life and do something noteworthy. I want to be a writer and work in the entertainment industry and I would love to move to Toronto permanently and have career there.

But that might never happen. I have no real skills to use other than writing/drawing and even less life skills. My parents have never spent too much time to ever teach me how to do my own laundry, cook, drive, ect. Sometimes it feels like they kept me from learning these things, to make sure I never leave home because they need me more than I need them. My sister doesn't come around to visit too often and that might be another clue. 

Which brings me to my next point, with my dad's abusive personality and mental problems, its getting too much to live with him. My mom's somewhat of an enabler and neither of them really study things or desire to learn everything and anything possible like I do, though my dad's extreme right wing views lead him down a worse road than my moderate mom. 

My therapist said that if it gets too bad, I could apply for my own apartment away from them, go to inclusive employment for jobs and make a life for myself. I have no real desire to have children or begin a relationship so it'd be easier to focus on my work. But as an unemployed person on a pension since I don't have much employable skills and can't get into college, I might just fail like my parents may want me to do in order to keep me home.